The "second wife" syndrome

I am a first wife; I am also a second wife. I hated my first wedding so much (that is a whole other blog about interfering parents!)  that I promised myself and warned my husband that on our 25th wedding anniversary we would have another wedding! We renewed our vows in the Smokey Mountains in the top of a turrett, overlooking the beautiful scenery, with no one there to interfere with our joy.
As a first wife, I try to make observations about how couples interact; also because I like being a student of human nature and I am easily bored! It became apparent to me that there were similar themes in marriages. the most prominent one was that men are much more tolerant of habits and behaviours in their second wives that they never would have dreamed of "putting up with" in their first spouses. the nagging and chirping away that first wives have become known for, is not only tolerated in second wives but sometimes, actually encouraged.
it is as if the husbands decided "I cannot fail at this again!" (and we know how competitive men are) So they will do anything to keep that second marriage together. the rationale for this logic, when asked is almost always the same: "His first wife was a BITCH!".....Was she really???.... or, did she simply demand the care, consideration, the maturity and devotion, that the second wife assumes as her rights.
This second wife syndrome applies whether the woman was married before or not. While I am sure that there are always exceptions to this somewhere, there seems to be a vast majority of people who fit into this profile. So much so that I have been able to discern whether a woman is a man's first or second wife simply by how he behaves toward her.
as a successful "first wife" I let me tell you that if a man brings his wife a coffee to her workplace for no reason, I will show you a second wife.
the first wives aren't all bitches; they just wish that they had been treated as well as the second wife!