I think he meant it as a compliment; at least I hope he did. I was surprised to find that there was an actual definition of gumption; albeit, a casual one. still it is something:
gump·tion
[guhmp-shuhn] Show IPA
noun Informal .
1.
initiative; aggressiveness; resourcefulness: With his gumptionhe'll make a success of himself.
2.
courage; spunk; guts: It takes gumption to quit a high-payingjob.
3.
common sense; shrewdness.
I like that! Courage, spunk, guts, common sense! yep that is something that I strive for. Although, I prefer "moxie". it always sounded so much classier!
I am sure that others would focus more on the aggressiveness as proof of my gumption, since that seems to be a word that is associated with me quite often. and forget all those classes you take in training that teach you how to be "assertive". Unless the person you are talking to has taken that class they will think you are being aggressive. they fail to see the difference.
So where did all this gumption come from. I know that it has come in handy with raising our sons. Jarrett required quite a bit of spunk to deal with him on a good day. when I tell people that I raised the Tasmanian devil, I am not exaggerating. we were known to run and hide from him when he was in a bad mood. He will tell you that I went nose to nose with him and never backed down.
I really needed it with Connor. to say that society required quite a bit of spunk to get around some of the road blocks is an understatement. I know that for the most part we just used a lot of common sense but there were time that outright shrewdness was required.
but mostly, I think that my extra helping of gumption came when I was a child. Most people who know me, know that I speak openly about my relationship (or lack thereof) with my parents. Although, neither was diagnosed until a year before they passed away, both my parents were bi-polar. However, they both exhibited their mental illnesses in different ways.
My father was as unpredictable as the wind. you never knew what was coming next, and he was willing to try anything. after all, the man bought an airport because he had always dreamed of flying. (me, I think it would have been simpler to just rent a plane, but whatever!)
My mother was a different story. she was the one that we all know. the person who spends a great majority of her life lamenting what she wanted to do. almost every sentence was a "would have, could have, should have." If you asked her why she did not follow the paths that she wanted the roadblocks were innumerable. her answers usually included "I don't have enough time, I don't have enough money" and my personal favourite, "I am too old for that". Too old? who are we kidding. she was less than 40 when I first heard her use this excuse. I had asked her if she liked decorating so much, why didn't she go to school and become a decorator. Her answer was that she was too old to go back to school.
I was not very old before I figured out that my mother did not have any gumption and my father had way too much.
So I tried to find the balance. I stuck with the predictable as much as possible, but also resolved that I would never be too old to try something and if I made a goal or had a dream, I would do my utmost to achieve it. I was not going to go to my deathbed with a lifetime full of "could have, would have or should haves" after all, life is way too short.
Needless to say, life has thrown up a few roadblocks to this plan and the knee replacement is a result of some of those roadblocks.
in an effort to keep Connor in the home he was raised in and not have to move a ridiculous distance from where we were, we stayed in our two storey home. Until 8 years ago, this home was not wheelchair accessible. we had a ramp on the back door but the door was too small for the large wheelchair to fit through since it was a sliding glass door. so, until Connor was 14years old, I lifted him him from the large wheelchair to a smaller in house one. anyone who has met our son will tell you that he is not a little boy. as a result of that, and because of a rare genetic collagen mutation thanks to my Davis genetics, I had severely arthritic and dislocated knees by the time I was 50. most surgeons will tell you that you should not have a knee replacement until age 60 because they have a finite life span. but if your body gives you no other choice, then you take the surgery.
So, with my new knee firmly in place, I fall back on my gumption to keep me sane. this blog is only one result. People had always told me to write a book about raising Connor. but if you go on Amazon.com and look at the results of titles in books that somebody wrote about overcoming adversity, the list is almost endless, and it can be summed up in one sentence: You need gumption!
So I decided instead to write about what I have learned. what raising Connor and being in a family together has taught us, with the intentions to enlighten, enliven and perhaps educate as many people as I can.
As far as the other things that make Max think i have gumption, he gives me more than enough opportunities to be "resourceful" on a weekly basis, and for that matter so does my job. Courage is something that every parent needs, but the parent of a child with disabilities has it in spades. when you have faced down the medical, educational and social stereotypes and norms and won, nothing scares you; and I mean NOTHING.
I think that the other thing that raising a child with a disability shows you is that life is to short and a life lived with regrets is not worth living. so many of the kids that Connor played hockey with, did Jujitsu with and have gone to university with, have a terminal, degenerative illness. I have watched kids play wheelchair hockey with a ventilator breathing for them attached to the back of their chair. screw the NHL players , that takes gumption!
So, unlike my mother, when I set goals, I follow them. I write the blog, I work on my degree, I joined the band to play trombone, sung at open mic in bluegrass, and I write the romance novel. Once the knee is finished healing, Max and I will do ballroom dancing and I might even try horseback riding or ballet.
Yep, he's right. it does take gumption! and i am glad that I got some.
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