The secret Language of marriage

This October, Max and I will have been married 30years. we have been together 36 having dated 4years and being engaged 2 before we finally got hitched! there are several distinct traits of being together over 3 decades, as any long term couple will tell you. I think that one of the most interesting in our lives together is our common language. I don't mean that we both are English speaking in public and then speak french when alone.  the language that I am talking about can best bee described as I speak fluent max and he speaks fluent Linda. It is for this reason that we are not allowed to be on the same trivial pursuit team because we will invariably "smoke" the competition. (it is also because we seem to know a ridiculous amount of trivial information; but that is for another blog) this language phenomenon was brilliantly portrayed in the movie Four Christmases. The yuppie childless couple brought the game "Taboo" to the family Christmas to break up the tension of the divorced families. They were quite confident that they could communicate with each other much more effectively than the husbands "redneck" brother and sister in law. this dynamic was particularly familiar to me. each year we lived through 4 christmas', and I suppose since we all wore jean overalls one year, we could be considered the rednecks. I have even had a relative who was now divorced that she would not want a marriage like ours--even though we have happily been together over 30 years, have 2 children who have completed higher education, never had a pregnancy arrest or drug scare-- because it seemed that we did not talk pleasantly enough to each other. but I digress.
In the movie the yuppie couple of Reece Witherspoon and Vince Vaugan perform abysmally in the game, barely getting a point. The brother and sister in law rocked it! One word or a weird analogy would get the answer in seconds flat. they absolutely decimated the competition. Poor Vince looked like someone had killed his puppy. But I could have warned him; they had their own language: words, stories and phrases brought about from common struggles, triumphs and experiences. It is so powerful that sometimes you don't even have to talk; frequently, you don't have to finish a sentence and sometimes you are even thinking the same thing at the same time.
I think, in our case, sharing the experience of raising a child as special as Connor, amplifies this understanding of each other. there are times when dealing with the intricacies of our lives that there was, quite simply, no time for words. There were other times when, if we had spoken out loud, at the least we would have been questioned and at the greatest we would have been mocked or judged.
Still all in all I count it as one of my blessings of being together so long. Now I can translate for others that when Max says "chubby British singer" he means Phil Collins, or when I say the froggy song from Bugs, he can explain that I mean "Hello, My Baby" or that best of all we can both giggle the cares away simply by saying "Its no big deal".  to others, we may sound like characters from the movie or a star trek episode but to each other, it is our language of love, patience,  understanding and knowing that has taken 36 years to perfect. Just a word of warning though, don't ever play Taboo with us either! unless you want to be smoked as well.