Passive Aggressivia-Not a fan!

I have rarely been accused of being passive aggressive. In fact, I would venture to say that when others describe me, they skip the passive and jump right to aggressive. I have been described as "blunt, painfully honest, abrupt, direct, candid, forthright and frank. one friend has even nick named me bam-bam.I am not sure if that is from eating ribs while wearing my hair in a pony tail on the top of my head or because she believes that I hit people over the head with ideas; either way, I am rarely thought of as passive.
some of this stems from childhood. both of my parents, particularly my mother, could have given lessons in passive aggressive. a personal favourite passivia trick of hers was to leave clothes on the stairs and expect one of use to psychically know to take the clothes up the stairs without being told too. me, I just would order someone to take it up or better, take it up myself!
while the bluntness has definitely been a handicap in many situations, when dealing with issues as a parent, it has been invaluable. Therapists, doctors, teachers and assistants do not speak passive aggressive. they do not even speak assertive, only aggressive. Never has the adage, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil" been more true, than when you are describing raising a child with special needs successfully! if you try to deal with professionals by being passive aggressive, your child will receive the bare minimum of services. if you do not tell the school system exactly what is needed to deal with and interact with your child, your child will be lost in the cracks. Believe me when I tell you that if people are willing to complain about your child's breath or tell you that 2 hours a week is too much personal service, they will not understand the messages that you imply! you must be honest, forthright, blunt and sometimes even bam-bam! so, raising Connor did not damper my bluntness whatsoever. In fact aspects of his personality actually amplified them. being gifted meant that he was always looking for an explanation and a round about explanation was not going to cut it. Connor once asked what the brain looked like. I foolishly drew a picture of a brain, thinking that would satisfy him. It did not; he required a diagram labelled from one of my nursing textbooks. I knew then that hinting at what I wanted or discussing things in a round about matter would never be enough to satisfy his insatiable need for information.
Unfortunately, some people cannot be cured of passive aggressivia, not matter how blunt or honest you are. I used to say that open, honest communication only worked on the people who took the course. I would outright tell people why it was difficult to participate in some events with our son. houses with stairs, parks with no ramps, hotels with no elevators and more were dismissed with a wave of the hand and a "oh well"
leaving us to deal with the unfortunate realities that would inevitably come from someone failing to be honest enough to admit that the event, occasion or situation was "wheelchair unfriendly."
I have however, noticed that people that do speak fluent "passive aggressive" lead what seems to be a happier and more successful life! after all, they do not get in trouble as being mean or disruptive; nor, do people describe them as "intimidating." but try as I might I cannot  master the art of getting what I want in any other way besides pointing to it and saying "I want that."

However, although I have never learned to speak "passive aggressive" I understand it fluently! and on occasion have been able to translate it for others. In the end it comes down to what can you live with. for some, the only way that they can be comfortable with themselves is by hiding behind the fact that they never actually "said anything." for me it is knowing that although I may be loud, blunt and brutally honest, no one can ever accuse me of not saying what I mean or meaning what I say. So although if I had to be a Flintstones character, I probably would have chosen Wilma, for now, I am proud to be bam bam and living in the real  world not the one with the queen of Passive Aggressivia!