the power of optimism

Before the boys were born there was a sweet joke going around. A mother had twin sons. One was a pessimist and the other an optimist. the mother found it extremely difficult to deal with such different personalities so she took them to a psychologist to see if she could cheer one up and bring the other down to earth. The Dr. suggested that for the boys upcoming birthday she fill one room with toys and another with manure. she was to give the room with toys to the pessimist and the room with manure to the optimist. when their mother looked in on the boys the pessimist was sitting in the room complaining "this is not what I asked for, these toys are right...etc. then she opened the room of manure, only to find her other son digging joyfully through the pile of poop. she asked  the boy what he was doing and to her surprise, he answered "with this much shit, I know there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
Once I had my sons, it was not too hard to figure out which one would be looking for the pony. Connor truly embodied the expression: Making the best of a bad situation. I recall a camping trip to Niagara Falls, where we rented a cabin at the KOA. behind the cabin about 10 feet away were the train tracks. you can imagine what the cabin felt like when a train went by, which they did about every 2 hours. Connor, who was about 6 at the time looked at the train rumbling by and said "look mom, they even have trains here!" with such exuberance it was hard not to share his joy.
it was this optimism that has kept us going through good and bad over the years. all of the naysayers and worry warts could not get him down. If there was a play, he tried out for it--never mind if the venues or stages were not wheelchair accessible, we would find a way. if there was a wrong in the school he would right it. He ran for student council and won changing their policy on "safe spaces" and starting a gay straight alliance.
when he got to University, I was sure that the room of manure was finally going to catch up with him. This was the first environment that he had ever been in where he was not the only "wheeley", and needless to say there were more than enough of the pessimist twin to fulfill the role. Indeed, at one point he asked me "why am I not as bitter as everyone else about my disability?" to which I answered, I suppose because we are not bitter about your disability so why would you be?.

The gloom and doom attitudes almost got the better of him. for a year, in an effort to conform and fit in, Connor became old and bitter; I lost my optimist, and to be truthful, I was lost without him. I am neither a pessimist or an optimist; I am a realist. however, us realists need some optimism in our lives to keep us going. after all, reality bites and is quite pessimistic at times.
Finally, Connor gave up the sham of trying to be life bitter in order to fit in and became his sunny self again. He told me that he just decided to not give a damn about people being so dark and twisty with their expectation that he should be the same and that they would just have to accept his cheerful self.
See, there was a pony in all that manure.Leave it to Connor to find it!
Oh and my pessimist? while Jarrett has cheered up over the years, especially when he remembers to eat so that he doesn't get grumpy, he still sees a cut as a "gash" and EVERYTHING is a crisis!
 but I can only conquer one mountain at a time.